Mistresses : Gossip Girl Reloaded

 Abc's Mistresses holds the distinction of being the lowest rated premiere for a scripted series since 2011's 'Combat Hospital '.Thus being the black sheep enthusiast that I am , i'm reviewing a show no one could care less about. 

Mistresses follows four girl friends. And,well that's pretty much it. Let's take a quick look at them :

1. Savannah : She's the bored housewife of the bunch. Actually come to think of it she wasn't really bored until about 3 secs till the ending .Well maybe she mentioned it a couple of times (not so subtly ) that she missed being looked at "like that". But i guess when the show is named mistresses the characters don't really have that much of a choice. . .


First who cheat's on this? Look at him.

 
First who cheat's on this? Look at him. Second who cheats on someone who names their restaurant after you? That's a close second to  write a song for me in my  i - will - marry- you - if - u  list .

2. April : Now here's where things get interesting or start going downhill ,depending on how you choose to look at it. April here is a widow .Who still gets calls from her dead husband . Or believes so . On the basis of the heavy breathing on the other end of the phone.Ya, i know .

3. Karen : Her storyline is a little bit more complicated than the others . I'll try to explain .Karen is a therapist who has an affair with a married patient who's sick and then decides to die by taking the morphine that Karen prescribed  for "when things get too painful". Did i mention that his wife was with him when this happened. (I think the wife totally murdered him ,just saying, i called it first ) And then his son stalks Karen till she finally agrees to meet with him so he can talk to her about the other women his father was seeing who ofcourse unbeknownst to him is Karen.Not confusing enough ? that's ok cuz there's more.This creepy dude then proceeds to fall in love with her.Like father,like son.

That's Karen at the said patient's funeral .A little tip Karen - Don't go to your dead lover's funeral who also happened to be your patient ,especially when the morphine you prescribed killed him.And definitely don't sit with his family.Not even if his wife insists.She didn't know you had that affair.

4. Joss: So saving the best for the last Joss is a real estate agent who climbs up the corporate ladder by sleeping with her boss but  is smart enough to kick him to the curb when he decides to buy her a love nest so that he can sleep with her whenever he wants to .Smart move girlfriend,smart move. Oh did i mention the boss is married too.
Atleast joss is funny,bad life decisions seem to be a pre-requisite for every character on this show.And not to mention single, i mean nobody on this show seems to be faithful anyway. Except, Savannah's husband ,who won't last long given that Joss is moving in with them. I mean have you seen that girl.I practically screamed at Savannah for being so stupid .TV wives i tell u.

Final word : So all everyone ever does on this show is have sex . All.The .Time . There are five sex scenes in the first episode. Four of which happen in the first 15 mins. Or maybe there were 6. After a point u lose count. Honestly,watch this show because its ridiculous ,so ridiculous that its almost funny ,so ridiculous that April's dead husband calls her on the phone every time he wants to stop her from going on a date and conveys this through mouth breathing .On the phone ? i mean really? Ur dead and you still use communication mediums that we humans do? I mean with the connectivity issues nowadays. I'm appalled. Oh wait, i remember now , that was actually her dead husband's girlfriend who was calling to talk to her about the kid she had with him . Ok writers ,we get it ,this show is named MISTRESSES .Way to prove a point.